I can't be bothered to explain (why I wish you all were robots, and I was a robot too)

from One Hundred Promises of Fire by Pale Bird

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Why are men so irrational?
They really are the useless gender.
I say or do a little thing to hurt their precious feelings
And they've de friended me forever
Love hasn't any elegance - it starts with bleary self-effacement
It end with a sorry lover scrabbling for their dignity
I've got it buried in the basement
How I wish you all were robots and I was a robot too

I'm not a tiny star in a brighter firmament
I don't intend on proving my unsuperfluousness
That truth should be self-evident
You shouldn't be a signpost - be your own arbitrator
You always seem to get confused by conflicting stimuli and insufficient data
That's why I wish you all were robots and I was a robot too

I have seven A levels and five or six degrees
I use English with a beauty you can only dream of
And travel widely internationally
I have many years experience - one day they'll canonise my brain
If you just can't be bothered to read my Wikipedia page I can't be bothered to explain
Why I wish you all were robots and I was a robot too
I can't be bothered to explain why I wish you all were robots and I was a robot too
I can't be bothered to explain

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from One Hundred Promises of Fire, released October 9, 2013

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