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Someone needs a theme song - someone who is someone
When I walk into the room, I want to see people’s heads turn
“Why’s that music playing? Where’s it coming from?”

There’s a jukebox in the corner
An assistant has configured
Everywhere I go, they go ahead with my jukebox
(They go ahead with his jukebox)
Set it up, wait for me to arrive
I won’t go anywhere without my jukebox
(Anywhere without his jukebox)
It is so debilitating

I can’t lie, my star is waning
I used to have two or three jukebox roadies
An overlapping team travelling ahead of me
Just when I need a theme
(To play him in)
To gee me up
(To egg him on)
To pour some petrol on the flames
(Of his damp ego)
I have one lonely jukebox roadie, only
And he’s part-time
(He doesn’t leave the house, it’s sad)
But I have to remind them
(The others who)
The others who don’t have a theme
That I still have my own theme song

It seems like every goddamn person
Has some kind of bluetooth speaker
And they can play a Justin Bieber song,
(Why’s that music playing?)
Or something they’ve whistled tunelessly into their phone,
Wherever they go
(It’s so debilitating)
And it’s all competing
Why can’t they just tell that this sounds wrong?


from Year of the Bird (Volume 1), released April 8, 2019


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